Towards sexual purity in the 21st century

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Sexual immorality is on the increase all over the world. Adultery is fast becoming the norm and the pious are also being infected. Married women are not left out, many are having secret lovers and emotional affairs are becoming the order of the day. The rate at which immorality is increasing nowadays is alarming!

It is spreading fast into every nook and cranny and children are also being initiated into the club. It’s no news that 10, 13 years old kids now have sex with each other.

Staying sexually pure these days is becoming a Herculean task. One of the reasons people fall flat into illicit sex is over confidence. The belief that you can be free around the opposite sex and nothing would happen! A lot will happen!

One of the ways you can stay sexually pure whether married or single this end time is to set strict boundaries. If you are too careless around the opposite sex, you will fall flat on your face! That is the truth.

The earlier you believe this and work on it, the better. You can’t be careless around the opposite sex and hope to stay sexually pure, set boundaries!

There are some people who can’t be your friends, raise the standard. Anybody can call you names, that’s their headache, you have your Deen and honour to protect.

As a rule, I don’t make friends with liars, gossipers and jealous people. They make life so complicated. If you believe in illicit sex, we can’t be friends, period!

Monitor your chats. Don’t allow anybody send you flirty messages, no matter how innocent it sounds, warn them and if they refuse to stop, block them!

Don’t hug or handshake with the opposite sex. Don’t allow anybody call you pet names (except your close family members and same sex friends), it doesn’t make any sense. Pet names turn the opposite sex on, if you don’t know that, know it right now. Be sensitive to attractions. Don’t be naive around the opposite sex, know when a man/woman is sexually attracted to you and move back from that person. If they focus much on your physique and body, they are sexually attracted to you, move back.

Know when you are sexually attracted to someone and move back. It’s perfectly normal to have chemistry for someone. Marrying the greatest man on earth or the most beautiful, virtuous woman in the universe will not automatically stop you from being attracted to someone else. Know when the thought of another man/woman get you excited and move back.

Don’t go into any relationship with the opposite sex except when Nikah is intended and with strict adherence to the dictates of the Sharee’ah. Study and find out about the person, know what they stand for, see if your core values are compatible, if not, move back!

Leadership attracts all kinds of people. If you are a leader or you are gifted, talented or intelligent, the opposite sex will show more interest in you, be careful whom you allow to get close to you.

Accept gifts with care. Men don’t joke with their time and money. If he spends so much time and money on you especially when you do not ask, he may one day ask for sex SubhanaLlah!!!.

Stop begging men for money. Work with your two hands and raise your standard and be contented. Men will respect and honour you for it.

Work on your marriage. Fix the problem as soon as possible or else you get attracted to someone who gives you what you lack in your marriage, adultery is the result. Be prayerful, be watchful. …”

Don’t stay with or counsel the opposite sex in a dark or lonely room. Avoid provocative dresses and pictures.

Let your spouse or parents advise you on what is okay for you. Stick to the rules and regulations guiding dressing in Islam.

Avoid and stop posting pictures on social media. Don’t visit the opposite sex alone without mahram. It doesn’t make sense and it is equally prohibited.

These and more are the things you need to do to stay sexually pure in this 21st century.

People may laugh at you, it doesn’t matter. They may call you a neurotic, psychotic, fanatic, over sensitive or paranoid, don’t give a damn! Your Deen and honour are too precious to waste on the altar of sin. Avoid friends who make fun of chastity and make friends with people who appreciate purity and modesty.

Finally, avoid the second look, as far as possible. You may be excused for the first unintended look but the second is taken against you.

Set your boundaries and never allow anyone to compromise your Modesty or Piety.

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